Almost ready to sell!

That’s right. Somehow between working a part time job, being a full time Mom and working on various non-money making creative projects I have found time to almost finish making these products. They will be available at local farmers markets and on Etsy in May. Update & photo’s of products coming soon!!


The Happy Mermaid Daily Skincare Regimen

I know we have all read the backs of our shampoo, conditioner, and body lotion bottles while sitting on the toilet or taking a shower before, and you may feel jaded from all the fancy beauty care jargon. But since I am creating a skincare line, I felt it was necessary to educate the people who are interested in my (soon to be available) products about the kind of skin care regimen I have discovered is the most effective to achieve beautiful skin. So if you are interested, please read my suggestions.

Your Skin requires two things to maintain a youthful, healthy glow.

1.) Cleanliness

2.) Moisture



If your skin is not clean, it cannot breath. When skin cannot breath, acne breakouts, skin disorders, and wrinkles flourish. Skin gets suffocated from a range of reasons, including:

– Makeup residue

– Oily build-up

– Dead skin

– Environmental build-up (not only do our lungs breath in pollution & toxic air, but our skin does too)

So, the first step to acquiring and maintaining healthy skin is to make sure it is clean and that your pores can breath.

By using 100% all natural Happy Mermaid Cleanser*, your skin can get a thorough cleaning through the use of active herbs, botanicals, and rice bran powder rather than by using harsh chemicals present in most mainstream products. (SLS, petroleum, Phthalates, & preservatives)

Clogged Pores

Natural Cleansers do a great job at maintaining overall cleanliness, but for the tougher pore cleaning, you will need a gentle clay mask. Depending on your skin type, you will need to use the mask either daily, once a week, or once every two weeks to draw out dirt that collects in your pores.

Clogged pores are like weeds. Unless you remove the entire weed, including most importantly, the root, the weed will continue to thrive. Clogged pores are the same. The dirt, oil, and grime must be extracted from the pore, or else it will turn into a blackhead, acne, or encourage wrinkle formation.

The best way to gently unclog pores is by using Happy Mermaid Pink Clay Mask* once a week. Pink clay from India gently extracts the dirt, and oil from your pores, while Korea’s”beauty secret”, Rice bran powder smooths and minimizes your pores appearance.


After completing the first step of your “natural is sexy skin regimen” by cleansing your skin with Happy Mermaid Cleanser, and drawing out impurities with the Pink Clay Mask, your skin now requires moisture to be replenished in your freshly cleaned pores to ensure proper cell regeneration. To do this, first lightly spray Happy Mermaid Botanical Spritz* on your face and neck. Then seal in this moisture by massaging Happy Mermaid Creme* in an upward circular motion on your face, taking extra care to be gentle when massaging around eyes and on your decolletage.

After completing all these steps, your skin will be smooth, nourished, glowing and soft. Best part of all is, everything you used to achieve this was affordable and 100% all natural.

[While I did list that cleanliness & moisture were the only steps necessary for beautiful skin, I think I should also mention that a healthy diet and drinking plenty of water is a part of the “moisture” category. If you have a horrible diet, and only drink soda or alcohol, then your skin is going to look bad no matter what products you buy.]


* These products will be available for online purchase in May 2012.  Please keep checking back for updates. Thanks for your patience while I perfect all the formulas!!


Natural Preservatives

A preservative is a naturally occurring or synthetically produced substance that is added to products such as foods, pharmaceuticals, paints, biological samples, wood, etc. to prevent decomposition by microbial growth or by undesirable chemical changes.

So a preservative basically keeps your skin care product from spoiling.  The best product to use on your body is something that will spoil, because that means it is “all natural”.  For a while I only made my skin and hair products out of fresh ingredients like avocado, strawberries, banana, milk, kiwi, carrots, etc.  Basically everything in my fridge.  My skin looked the freshest and most glowing and felt softer than a baby’s butt when I used these raw ingredients.  But it became way too laborious to create these recipes from scratch once my first child was born.  I got tired of creating these mashed face washes, lotions, toners, just for them to turn brown, stinky and unusable in a few days. So I decided to research natural preservatives which inspired the birth of my Happy Mermaid skin care business.

Preservatives are ingredients that kill bacteria to prevent a product from contamination.

List of common TOXIC preservatives used in non-all natural Skin, hair, and baby care products are:

  • Propylene and butylene glycols (also humectants)
  • Disodium and tetrasodium EDTA
  • Diazolidinyl and imidazolydyl urea
  • Parabens (Methylparaben, polyparaben, butylparaben, etc.)
  • Phenoxyethanol
  • Methylisothiazolinone

You may be familiar with all of these, but I for one was mostly just familiar with Parabens before I began all my research.  Parabens are talked about a lot these days because they have been directly related to causing malignant tumors, specifically breast and armpit tumors that cause breast cancer.  So that is why you have been seeing and hearing about “Paraben Free” products.  The sick, sad thing about a lot of companies that say their product is “paraben-free”, is that they are just lying.  I don’t understand how they think this is a good idea, but they do get away with it.  The cosmetics industry is the least regulated consumer industry of all.  That means tons of toxic products can call themselves “All Natural”, be sold in major stores, and be Cancer in a bottle.  The only thing that is regulated, in America at least, is the “USDA Organic” seal.  You cannot get that seal of approval on your product unless the formulas are in fact organic.  But unfortunately, a lot of great small-business All natural companies products (like Happy Mermaid) get overlooked because they cannot afford to pay the great fee to get that seal. It costs thousands of dollars to get your products tested and given the seal. So when you are in a situation where the seal is not on the product, you can tell how safe it is by simply reading the ingredients.  Most of the time, if you cannot pronounce most of the ingredients, it is not All-Natural.  Some ingredients sound crazy, but they actually are natural. Like, Tocopherol acetate is just a fancy name for vitamin E.  Vitamin E is a great all natural preservative.  But for the most part, it should not look like a word from another planet with a million letters.  Always avoid purchasing products with the above ingredients I listed in the toxic list.

Happy Mermaid products use a unique blend of essential oils, botanical extracts, and Vitamin E to keep the raw ingredients fresh and safe from spoiling for at least 6 months.  It may not last for 2+ years like Common cosmetics do, but if you are enjoying the product’s results, there is no reason you should still have product left in the bottle after 6 months!

Savin’ a Buck = Losing lots of bucks

There are two kinds of people in this world. People who believe in All Natural and Organic products and produce, and people who think “all natural” is a marketing scheme by companies to make more money off of dumb consumers.

The fact is, if it is going on or in your body, truly all natural products really are better for you. The reason regular cosmetics, skin care products, and food items are less expensive than the all natural versions is because they pump them with toxic preservatives. I have heard/read skeptics say things like, “Companies are not going to try to give us Cancer, that would be genocide. All natural consumers are just paranoid.” Sorry folks, they don’t give a shit whether you get Cancer, that is of course, unless they could be convicted of a crime due to your Cancer or illnesses, but they can’t.  When you get diagnosed with an illness, the Doctors don’t contact the FBI to track down all the manufacturers of every product you consumed through your mouth or skin to press charges against those who are toxic. It’s just like Cigarettes. We know they can lead to Lung Cancer and tons of illnesses (Well, the Europeans think this is bullshit, but Americans believe this, including me), but they are still for sale and no tobacco companies are going to go down when you die. Only you will, with nobody to blame but yourself. So unfortunately, if you want to live a long, healthy, pain-free life, you are going to need to educate yourself about the products you use, and you will probably have to pay more for the new, natural versions.

A lot of people think Natural companies and organic food is a scam because of the outstanding prices. Let me break this down for you.

Generic Cosmetics, skin products produce, food: Injected and formulated with toxic chemicals that keep them looking fresh, smelling fresh, and tasting fresh so that they can be kept on the shelf for as long as possible to increase sales and put more money into clever business people’s pockets.

All Natural and Organic Cosmetics, skin products, product, food: Use little amounts of natural preservatives* to clean formulas or produce or use absolutely no preservatives at all. These natural preservatives are expensive, and the entire formula is pricey to make because they are not being synthetically created in a lab. Due to production costs, special non-toxic packaging, and the short shelf life due to its all natural state that will mold if nobody buys it, the price goes up considerably next to the generic brand.

But no matter which product you buy, expensive all natural or cheap generic, you will end up losing much more money in the long run by using the generic brands because they will keep you or make you sick. Whether it is Cancer, eczema, cold sores, stomach aches, migraines, arthritis, infertility, miscarriages, yeast infections, obesity, dandruff, allergies, muscle aches and pains, depression, anxiety, etc, these sicknesses can be decreased or eliminated completely by changing to an all natural lifestyle. The money you will save on doctors visits, ER visits, medical treatments, therapists, pain relievers, etc. will make the extra $1-$10 you have to pay for the all natural products suddenly not seem so expensive.

I am not trying to turn off any naysayers out there with my forceful approach, I just know that this stuff is for real because I have dedicated most of my free time my entire adult life living an all natural life, and the whole past year researching all of this in great detail. You can read more about what led me to leading an all natural life in the previous post or by clicking here.

*I will write an explanation of what the term “all natural preservatives” means in my next blog post!!


My All-Natural Lifestyle Story

I grew up in Connecticut in an Irish, middle-class household with my 3 siblings and Mom and Dad. We had a pretty average American lifestyle. Mom cooked her delicious meat and potatoes meals about 5 nights a week, Pasta and meatballs was for Sundays. We had weekly visits for lunch or snacks at Mcdonald’s, Wendy’s, Dunkin’ Donuts, and an awesome Northeast chain unhealthy restaurant called “Friendly’s” that I actually ended up working at for a while. I had pretty awesome co-workers there. Well, back to my story. My Mom stocked the house with lots of veggies, but she also stocked it full of sodas, cakes, cookies, meats, and nothing organic. I’m not trying to bitch slap my Mom or anything. (<—- Catholic guilt speaking) But we definitely weren’t impressing any health guru’s or personal trainers out there with our diet. We were all involved with tons of Sports. I think that was mainly because my Mom wanted to keep us out of her hair as much as possible. Don’t spank me, Mom (<—I was raised Catholic).

I played Soccer, Basketball, Field Hockey for a while, and I was on the Swim team. I loved sports, still do. I run and do bikram yoga like a good girl 4 x a week. Now I’m just bragging. But despite all of these athletics, I had a horrible body image from age 11 until I was 22 years old. I blame this on my bad diet. I did not realize that health food existed growing up. All I knew was that I heard supermodels hardly ate anything, and if they did eat, they’d throw it up. So that is what I did. I ate all the delicious, unhealthy food my Mom and my school cafeteria served me, and I would vomit it all up. So I got skinny. It seemed like the skinnier I got, the more guys asked me out and noticed me. So that just reinforced to me that I was doing the right thing. Because life is all about sexual attraction, right? Then one day when I was 17, I threw up blood and passed out next to the toilet for a while. My Mom didn’t know. She thought I was in the bath. I freaked myself out so bad about this, I decided to tell her about my Bulimia. She knew about it, because she had caught me before, but I really made her KNOW about it this time. I demanded she get me some help, because rich little white girls have the luxury of making those demands, you know.

So my loving and concerned parents got me a shrink and a nutritionist, but they weren’t much of a help at all. So through my frustration about how crappy this “professional” help was, I stumbled upon a Natural Living book at a hippie bookstore. That was the beginning of my enlightenment about how to treat this ol’ body of mine. Everything was so simply stated, easy to learn and obvious. The same “your body is a temple” concept. It spelled out very plainly that meat and dairy product consumption was not intended for Human beings. I began realizing that the reason I felt the need to throw up was because of my binge eating of heavy, unnatural and unhealthy foods. I mean, I never threw up a salad because that is healthy. I know the meat/dairy thing is a controversial topic, but whatever, I believed in it and still do. So I became a vegetarian. It was hard to avoid eating my Mom’s delicious meals, but luckily I was an angsty teenager, so this kind of felt like a bitchy rebellion I was going through. Plus it gave me tons of attention when people would ask me why I was the only person at the table eating a salad, and I’ve always loved attention. Being healthy made me feel strong, proud, vibrant, beautiful, glowing…but I’ve always had a great love for drinking alcohol. My books encouraging giving that up, but I am not ready to do that. Not sure I ever will be, being Irish and all.

So you may be saying to yourself, “When is this goddamn ho going to mention anything about all natural skin care?!”. I hear ya. I was wondering that myself while I’ve been typing this. A smart person would erase everything, start from scratch, and condense this post to be a more specific and appealing one-two paragraph piece on my skin care journey only. Oh well. Not going to do that.

I met my Husband in 2004 and he is a big old all natural living junkie. He made my lifestyle look so unhealthy and horrible compared to his super strict diet. Since I am super competitive, I couldn’t have him looking more healthy than me, so I read all of his crunchy granola hippie books and copied his lifestyle habits (well, besides masturbating to porn for hours) so that I could be just like him, a pretentious healthy vegetarian. I still eat meat occasionally in moderation, but for the most part I am a vegetarian. We have been happily living as annoying health freaks for our entire 7 1/2 years of marriage. Except for the beauty products I used, those were all generic up until 2009.

In 2008 I got pregnant with our first child, and that is when I got into the all natural world of skincare and cosmetics. Being pregnant does that to a lot of women. You get really worried about what is going in and on your body. And even more worried about what is going on your baby. We were so poor, but I required we only use the very expensive all natural baby soap, lotions, diapers, diaper wipes, clothing, etc.  I have let up a bit about that with the clothing, but not in terms of the skin care items. All of my research shows that what you put on your skin is just as important as what you put in your mouth, so I decided to become as much of a nazi about skincare as I’ve been about food.

With the discovery of my second pregnancy last November, I decided to turn my new passion for natural skin care into a business by creating my very own line of all natural skincare products because I had problems with the consistency, texture, scent, ingredients, quality, safety level and abrasiveness of a lot of products I’ve tried. I named the business “Happy Mermaid” skincare because I love mermaids, I’m a jolly person, and the whole idea of mermaids seems to convey the cleanliness of the all natural market, and the timeless beauty and moisture I am looking to bring to people’s skin and hair through my products.

Thanks for reading, and I’d love for you to keep checking my blog for updates on my Company’s progress. Feel free to comment or message me any ideas for products, questions, hell…even hate mail if you want.

Tuna Be Gone

I don’t know what other women do to clean their vagina, but I wash mine out with ‘dove unscented soap for sensitive skin’.  It took me a while to find the right soap for down there, and the dove soap is not perfect, but it’s the closest to perfect I have found. I am an avid reader of healthy living, alternative health, and natural living books and they all discourage washing the vag with soap.  They say it removes good bacteria and makes a breeding ground for yeast.  I find that to be false, at least with my body.  If I don’t wash down there, my vagina smells like a homeless man’s penis. And it feels like it gets all yeasty and fishy smelly. I know this, because I was homeless for a short amount of time when I lived in a van with my musician husband on tour.  I barely showered and it got all types of funky down there.  But he didn’t mind, because he is a hippie and everything.

ANYWAYS, yeah, I need to wash it. I heard about washing just with water, but nope, that doesn’t do it for me. It feels like washing your hair without shampoo. Not satisfying or effective. But the Dove soap bothers me because it has chemicals in it that are carcinogenic and I am really into “clean” products that don’t have crazy shit in it that keeps products on the shelves for 10 years so it won’t go bad.  Companies are just pumping all their beauty products with formaldehyde, and dangerous chemicals that is killing everyone.  And I really don’t feel like dealing with vagina cancer, so I created my own formula for a “soap” that cleanses your vag with completely all natural ingredients.  Its base is greek yogurt, because yogurt discourages yeast infections. It won’t smell like roses and flowers and daffodils, but it will clean you, not make you irritated, not give you vagina cancer, and leave you ready to be gone down on by your significant other.  I am still working out the formula to make it smell a bit better and to work out some consistency issues, but it should be ready to test out on vaginas soon. This is just one of many products I am creating, and most of the other ones are for your face, skin, and hair.

So what I would like to know is, do you gals wash down there?  Because I don’t want to sell this soap if no one is going to buy it because you all already wash just with water.  Take my poll because this will seriously help me a lot.


Welcome to Natural Skincare with an Edge

I have been working on creating a 100% all natural skincare line since October 2010.  This is going to be the main site for information about my Company, Happy Mermaid, and information about my products.  Right now there is a bunch of bananas on the banner of this site.  Bananas have nothing to do with the skincare line, I just really liked the stock photo of bananas, and I don’t have my logo ready just yet, so just ignore or admire the bananas, it’s up to you.  If you are reading this a few months from today, you might be saying to yourself, “What? I don’t see any bananas?  There is a logo of a slutty mermaid.  What is this bitch talking about?” Then that would mean I got on top of my shit and finished the logo finally and replaced a pretty, ho-ish mermaid over the pretty bananas.

I will have an Etsy site coming soon too, and that will be the actual storefront for Happy Mermaid products.  Don’t go worrying about this being too complicated, I will put a link to the shop on this blog once I finally have enough products ready to sell.

I wanted to start this blog before even finishing the product formulations or business plan, mainly because I read in my Entrepreneur Magazine that you consumers out there are super nosy and enjoy seeing a company begin from the ground up. It also said in there that you consumers are self-absorbed, and narcissistic, and that you would enjoy feeling like you had a hand in any success my company may gain, by using your feedback and such in the beginning stages.  Well, we are off to a great start already, because I am totally, painfully narcissistic myself.

So get ready to be asked to answer polls and shit.  Besides just polling, I will be sharing photos and maybe even videos if you are really lucky, showing you all of the ins and outs of starting my skincare line, and how horribly hard, but fun it is.  I will want lots of feedback…well, not really, I actually feel like I mostly do everything perfect and hate when people tell me what to do, but I need to make an exception in this case, since I am creating these products for you people out there. So really, send me comments, like posts, or write personal emails if I post something about the business that excites you, turns you off, worries you, etc.  I can be like your skincare consumer therapist.

I know I am being quite vague about the products right now, but deal with it.  This is how I wanted to do my introduction.

PS.  Skincare is also spelled Skin Care. The same way Breastfeeding is also spelled Breast feeding.  I’m very confused about which one is correct, and google seems to be as well.  I prefer skincare to be one word.  If anyone has their panties in a bunch over this, let me know.